Ever since my last birthday (which was my first birthday away from the US) in Vilnius, I told Deividas that I knew 100% what I wanted for my next birthday gift. I've been DYING for someone to come visit me in one of the three countries I've lived in and so far, no luck! Maybe they'd come if I lived somewhere with a more tropical climate, or if their jobs would allow them to take off for vacation, or maybe I'm secretly hated by all my friends and family. But regardless, I have been anxiously awaiting a visitor and knew I had to take matters into my own hands.
Fast forward to October and Deividas reminded me that he would fly out a friend for my birthday gift. Anyone who's seen my wedding party knows I'm fortunate to have 10,000 girlfriends, any one of which I would LOVE to come out here. But a special little lady came to mind. My best friend Brie was born one day after me in the same exact hospital (not totally convinced we weren't switched at birth since both of our personalities more closely resemble each other's mother's). It wasn't until 12 years after our birth that we became friends but ever since we've been inseparable. We've celebrated the past 12 birthdays together, if not on the exact day than at least the weekend of. Brie has never left the US besides a few trips to Mexico so I knew I had to get her out here.
Brie will fly into Warsaw a week from Friday and I know she's going to experience some serious culture shock. This lifestyle has become so normal to me that I somehow forget how different it is from how I was raised. I decided it was necessary to give Brie a few warning notes to prepare her for these differences. Anyone planning their first trip to Europe can also benefit from these simple lessons.
1. Don't be that American. We're loud. We are accustomed to great customer service from everyone we come in contact with. A menu? What's that? We like to order food exactly how we prefer to eat it, regardless of how thoughtfully your acclaimed chef has planned the menu. All these things are well and dandy in America, but forget it if you're coming to Europe. I've had amazing customer service in some places, and some so abominable that I thought there had to be a hidden camera somewhere. The bottom line is, eat your food how it's made and let the mediocre customer service remind you how much you appreciate the outstanding service you so often get back home.
2. Slow down. Unless I'm going out to a nice dinner in the states, I expect to be in and out of a restaurant very quickly. You absolutely can't have this attitude when eating, regardless of what meal you're having. When I first came to Europe, I remember always bitching about how long it took to get food & get the check even though I had absolutely nowhere to be afterwards. Why do we do this? We're so stuck in the hustle and bustle of everyday life that even eating a meal with friends and family is something we often think has to be rushed. Europeans enjoy longer meals and really value being able to relax and appreciate time with loved ones.
3. You're not necessarily in the hood. In America we are so obsessed with aesthetics. Buildings are usually pristinely maintained and anytime we see otherwise, we assume we are in a poor neighborhood. This is still very difficult for me to adjust to. It's really common to see unpainted concrete buildings that look very cold and eery from the outside but house some beautiful apartments within. I remember the first few times I was invited over to a friend's house over here. I was so scared by what their apartment hallways looked like that I almost felt like I should be carrying a glock and a can of pepper spray to even step inside. Then, I'd walk into their apartment and be blown away by how beautiful it was. This is true for every country in Europe that I've lived in. They don't necessarily care as much about what the outsides of their buildings or common areas look like, but it's okay... you can put down the glock because you're not necessarily in the hood.
4. Try to speak the lango. Even if you only learn hi/bye/thank you. The locals really appreciate you at least attempting to speak the language. After all, you are in their country. On that note, don't expect everyone to speak English. I remember in Lithuania being appaled when a woman in front of me at the coffee shop was yelling at the barista for not speaking Russian. If they speak your language, great. If not, you definitely aren't entitled to be upset about it. It's 2014, we have google translate, iPhone apps and I've been known to bust out google images to show someone in the grocery store what it is I was looking for. My Lithuanian friends love when I speak Lithuanian to them. No matter where you are, a little attempt at speaking the language goes a long way.
5. Be prepared for anything. Not knowing the language is sometimes more of a setback than you realize. Every time I go out to eat, even in a really high-end restaurant, I don't think I've ever been served exactly what I thought I ordered. Grocery shopping is the same way. I've accidentally made pork chili, bought two shampoos instead of conditioner, and had several other mishaps where every trip home from the grocery store has turned into "what the hell did I just buy?" You don't realize how much you rely on labels and brand names to help you understand what some products are. Also, depending on the country you're in, they do weird things over here like keeping the milk & eggs out of the refrigerated section. Ya, that took some getting used to...
6. You will do dumb shit. I know that sounds kinda harsh, but you will. When you're out of your comfort zone, it's easy to slip up and do something stupid. I accidentally bowed to an Asian couple that took a picture for me while visiting Belgium and still to this day have no idea why. I swear the guy bowed to me first but my friends claim otherwise. I am a very sarcastic person as it is and sarcasm doesn't translate very easily to non-English speakers. My jokes and sarcasm are often met with blank stares and I really need to learn to just speak directly (example: waiter takes my empty plate and says "how did you like it", Me, [pointing to how much I've eaten]: "oh clearly it was awful", waiter: "oh no! what is wrong..but you still ate it all"....next time I will stick to "great, thanks").
7. Dress the part. No matter where they're going, Europeans dress to the nines when leaving the house. This one's also been a toughy for me as I am often met with judgmental stares as I stroll through the grocery store in a Tupac shirt and some sweatpants. I still stand firmly behind my belief that wearing anything other than sweats to the grocery store is an abomination, however, I've started dressing up more for other outings. If you don't want to get stared at, leave those lululemons for the gym. If you don't care, be my guest..
I'm not going to pretend this advice will help Brie, or anyone else for that matter, to prepare them for traveling abroad. Rather they're just some funny things I've noticed over the years that I still get a good laugh out of. I couldn't think of a more perfect way to spend my 25th birthday than with my best friend coming to visit me in Europe for the first time. Hopefully she'll go back home and tell everyone how fun I am so more people come over :)
In other news, everything is going good over here. It's starting to get to that uncomfortably cold point in winter where I begin to ask why anyone on this Earth would choose to live outside of the state of Florida. It is now perfectly clear to me why there are so many vodka enthusiasts around these parts. I rarely drink liquor and I find myself yearning for something to heat up my insides when I start loosing feeling in my nose. The basketball world is going well....D has been playing amazingly and is #3 in the league in scoring!! I am so proud of him!!!
Brie is one of the funniest humans on this planet and I"m sure I'll have a book worth of stories and quotes from her first time overseas (most of which won't be appropriate to post on here but I'll try). I feel so blessed and grateful that she was able to take time off of work to come over here and that my husband was so thoughtful to make it happen. Life is so good.
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